I know people who can make a decision then act on it immediately. No second-guessing, no hemming and hawing. They just do what they say they’re going to do. I have a lot of admiration for that kind of person. It sometimes takes me quite a while to reach a decision. I’m too much of a ponderer. I ask too many ‘what if’ questions and consider too many scenarios. But it would be nice, for once, to jump in the pool instead of going in toe by toe.

This is relevant because these past few months I got off track. Went back to eating my sugar and sipping my wine and disregarding everything I’d learned about nutrition and health right up until then. Apparently, my commitment to lose the things that made me unhealthy wasn’t as strong as the pull of the sugar fix.

It should be no surprise to me then that my overall health declined during this period of going “off the wagon.”  I even developed a new symptom – seborrheic dermatitis. Since this issue is directly linked to yeast overgrowth, it was yet another wake up call.  My vision also worsened. Got the call that the ERG test (for the unfamiliar, think contacts, electrodes, and an hour in the dark) results showed the decline. But I already knew it going in. There’d been a change but I didn’t want to deal with it.  And adding to the list of fun, I’ve continued to have flare ups of the conjunctivitis, which by now I’m convinced is actually an allergic reaction.

So, I’m now back to square one and getting back on the elimination diet (a.k.a. none of the primary food allergens, including sugar, alcohol, corn, wheat, chocolate, eggs & dairy) per the Naturopath who, God bless her, hasn’t booted me as a client. Kicking sugar is hard for all of her clients, she says, and she wishes she had a magic bullet. But in the end, it’s hard work…and withdrawl. After re-reading Kathleen DesMaisson’s work (Potatoes Not Prozac, Little Sugar Addicts, etc.) and visiting her site at www.radiantrecovery.com, I’m reminded that this really is an addiction – that’s right to all you physicians that have rolled your eyes at my very suggestion!  With low serotonin and beta endorphin levels, people who are sugar sensitive and who are “using” seek sugar in any form for a lift, a hit, a high. If my diet is poor, my low point comes at 1 or 2 in the afternoon and that’s exactly what the sugar does. Gives me a high, albeit a temporary one that leaves me feeling hungover.

But I’m not giving up here. This is a challenge and I’m not backing down. There is a direct correllation between what I’m ingesting and the quality of my health at every level.  My plan is to write down everything I eat and when, noting how I feel and any symptoms. So far I’ve weaned myself off coffee, regular and decaf, haven’t touched the wine in over a week, removed corn and am working on letting go the beloved cheese.  Next to go is the sugar.

Wish me luck.