I wrote an earlier post on people who ask about how I am or how my eyes are doing, people who ask but don’t really want to hear any answer other than, “Fine.”
I bring it up again now because I just had another experience that seems to have sent me over the proverbial edge.
In the beginning of this whole go-round, I would respond truthfully when asked, only to see a look of disinterest wash over the other person’s face or, if speaking on the phone, hear the urgent desire in the other party’s voice to move on. So, I got to the point where I kept information to myself. I mean, why bother? I’m doing what I can. I know how I feel about all of this and I’ve gotten pretty good at picking up on when someone really is or isn’t interested.
So here I am this morning in the midst of a telephone conversation and finding myself lulled into responding to the very question. I reply with how I’m doing – I have conjunctivitis, left eye, that has occurred twice now in four months and it’s a royal pain.
The person couldn’t have changed subjects quickly enough.
Erg! Here’s a lesson to all of us: if we really don’t want to know the answer, don’t ask the question!
This scenario makes me angry, I think, because I feel vulnerable when I open up to people. When I get shut down conversationally like that, red flags go up. Why would I even want to share anything with that person?
If there is a lesson here, as I am told there is in everything, it is to be more careful. I have a precious few people to whom I can talk honestly and I’ll save my commentary for them.
Is that cynical or guarded? Don’t care. Cuz I’m…just fine.